This post will be different than my others; this is from my soul man, from my heart where the emotions and the mind are housed.
The 2nd week of April, I was engaged in conversation with God, when He spoke a Word to me while I was traveling:
"Settle it now, I am Good and All My ways are Good. I am Good through and through. Every Good gift comes from Me and what the enemy means for evil I will take it and turn it for Good.
I didn't create man with a mind to comprehend or understand My ways; otherwise you would be an equal to Me and there is none equal to Me. You will never understand My ways, so I want you to trust Me like you want your children to trust you. So, trust Me when I say I am Good."
As I heard God very clearly speaking this, I thought, Oh dear God, what are we in for.....
Two weeks later:
May 4th our good friend was killed in a motorcycle accident.
June 18th my precious and godly father died after suffering a painful death.
August 4th my husband's wonderful brother, at 48 years old, died suddenly of a heart attack.
It's been three months, full of the unexpected and of the most painful emotions that cause our very chest to actually ache within us. We've not even healed from the first loss before the next one hits. Our own personal sorrow is great, but to witness the agonizing sorrow of our loved ones as they also suffer their loss is even more painful.
Each of us will encounter something during our life that just doesn't make sense to our mind, nor will it ever line up to how we process life situations and what we think would or should be right. It was 2 weeks before the first death when God gave the Word about His Goodness. Prior to all this misery, He wanted us to settle this matter now, reminding us to trust Him and that ALL His ways are Good. Even though our minds can't see what Good can come from this, God sees the big picture. We are forced to live out the words, "we walk by faith and not by sight". We've never journeyed this route before, so we can't lean into our past experiences to help us. We have nothing to measure this by or to pull from our past reservoirs of "how to handle an over-load of emotions, sorrow, and deep brokenness." So we start anew, this relationship with God, going yet again deeper into His presence to find the help we need to live, not in the craziness of all of this, but to live beyond it. And not pressing into God for understanding, as He has already said, we won't understand His ways. But, pressing toward the prize that awaits us, looking to Christ who is the finisher of our faith. We know it is God who is faithful to give us grace in the midst of this storm. We are learning the character of God from both sides of life; in seasons of good times and in seasons of pain. We recognize in all seasons, God is Good and His ways are beyond our comprehension. We trust God in this storm, He will be faithful.